WOW!! Where has the time gone?? Seriously is it the middle of March?? Life has been so busy I don't even know where to start...don't know where I've been!
First things first...I've been working now for a month and a half now and I am not totally sure how I feel about it. I filled with such mixed emotions!! I like the people I work with, they are great bunch of people! I love getting out and talking with adults and feeling like I'm doing something, feel like I'm helping people even if its only with the cable services :) BUT, you knew there was going to be a but lol....I hate the pressure to sell!!!!! I am a people pleaser, if someone is not happy with what I have done or I haven't lived up to their expectations I take it hard and personal...so when my bosses give me a number of sales I have to meet and I don't...I stress!!!!! I feel so much anxiety about it...however I'm actually doing ok...not great but ok...meeting my goals but so far not exceeding! I also have mixed emotions about not being there for the kids, I absolutely LOVE my kids and have no issues leaving them for a few hours but lately it seems like I'm barely even with them! Between working and the kids sports it feels like we aren't home and able to sit down until bed time and then we sleep and wake up and do it all over again! I miss being at home with baby K, I miss taking the kids to school everyday...even though I do take them at least 3 days a week lol....
I think its just all new and need to keep up with things and it will all work out :)
What else is new....the kids are doing great! Hockey is winding down, soccer is over!! The boys have now started Lacrosse, they are so excited! J tried out for the Novice B team...it was a total long shot since he's never played before, I think he did great! But didn't make the team...not a big deal there is always next year and he's stoked to play on the C team!!
As for the ex.....things have been getting a bit better...its really like a rollercoaster. Some days good and then a few moments later it can be bad. I've come to accept thats just how things are, there is no changing something unchangeable! He's now staying with a friend in Langley for the month of March and should be finding his own place for April. I can't wait until he actually has his own place so he can finally take the kids here and there and I might get a chance to have a bit of time to myself.
Overall with everyone going on I really don't even have time to figure out how I'm feeling. Alot of the time I feel so stretched! Its like I'm burning a candle at both ends....lets just hope one end doesn't go out!
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